the hard time.

dear blogie, it has been long time since my last update. i feel so guilty letting u standing alone without anything to fill in. i've so many stories to put in here. i think i want to get back on writing anf change the blog appearance. many event have occurred during my missing and bellow is one of the most important event for me. so here we go.

i have this one girl who i really wanted for so long. there are a lot of obstacles that have been blocking us from meeting. we just continued to be friend. i have waited the opportunity of us getting together for so long, and it happened. After a year, we finally in a relationship. we were so happy during the relationship and i'm so glad she is finally mine. the relationship were beautiful and full with love at first. we text every minute, calls and video call every night. we were so close at that time. unfortunately, things change, we started to argue and made a fight regularly. things keep getting worse and worse. after months, i noticed that the way she treated me change. there must be something wrong with her. my suspicion was right. she said i'm too obsesses with the relationship and it annoyed her sometimes. she even confessed that she has feeling for other guy. due to my distance, she had no other choices rather to choose that guy over me. what more can i gave her compared to that guy. he is near with her. he can care her better than me. i'm so sad and disappointed. i'm truly deep in love with her. i want to have a serious relationship with her. i don't want to lose her and i don't want to lose her love for me. we finally broke up. it give me a hard time to let her go. i never feel so in love like i felt for her. i even cried for her. i mean for a guy to cry over a girl it must be that i'm too in love with her. it is rare to see guys cry.(axcept afiq izan her most lovely ex haha)i'm so depressed at that time. my heart was so bleed. i realized that i need to accept the fact that she isn't mine anymore. but it was so difficult. even today i still love her. i miss her. i miss what we had before. i just wanted her to be happy. letting her go is the best option. i mean what's the point of her being with me if she isn't happy. we still keep in touch. the only thing that change is the way we treat each other. we still have feeling for each other. but i don't know. it confuse us. love is complicated. maybe we just need to wait and see what happens next. just let the fate decide what the best for us. to tell you the truth , she is the best thing that's ever been mine. maybe we are not meant to be together or maybe this isn't the time yet. i still hope someday or maybe somehow we'll be together again. that is all i think (byk nya grammar slah, lantak la. haha)